Valery's Mlog

Mindlog of a Freak
February 11th, 2006 by Valery Dachev

US Postal Service SUCK !


I want to extend my sincere apology as your Postmaster for the enclosed document taht was inadvertently damaged in handling by your Postal Service. We are aware how important your mail is to you. With that in mind, we are forwarding it to you in an expeditious fashion.

The U.S. Postal Service handles over 202 billion pieces of mail each year. While each employee makes a concerted effort to process, without damage, each piece of mail, an occasional mishap does happen.

We are constantly working to improve our processing methods so that these incidents will be eliminated. You can help us greatly in our efforts if you will continue to properly prepare and address each letter or parcel that you enter into the mailstream.

We appreciate your cooperation and understanding and sincerely regret any inconvinience that you have experienced.


This is the note on the back of the special envelope the letter from Elena was put in. They should be thankful that I’m not in USA. I would be their nightmare. Unfortunately, there’s no address of “my postmaster”, so I can share with him/her what I think about all of this. So here’s my reply:


I can’t accept your apology. Do you have an idea why ?! I’m sorry I’ve got no camera to take a picture of what you call “inadvertently damaged document”, but I’ll take one soon. The “enclosed document” is a letter from by friend Elena – carefully prepared and correctly addressed. You’ve probably found a postcard and a photo in it. Yes, you certainly know that already, because the letter was THORN IN TWO *AND*A*HALF* PIECES. I really appreciate your attempt to compensate the one-week delay in delivering my mail with doubling it and then sticking the pieces together…

This letter was supposed to make me happy. Instead of this it took me exactly 5 seconds to make me mad and want to kill somebody in my anger. If you were that aware of the importance of my letter would you tear it ? Would you put it in a standard envelope like this one ?! Would you even have such envelope if this happens so rarely ?! No. I suppose you would not stay anonymous. You would probably write your apology by hand and sign it. This is what people would call R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Is the cost of that funny transparent envelope my value as “valued postal customer” ?!?!

I really don’t care if you handle “over 202 billion pieces of mail each year” if I get my letter into pieces. If you really knew how important this letter is to me, how important is that photo to me, would you sleep peacefully tonight ? Yeah, alright, mistakes happen. You’ve got your money and you feel fine… Do you feel like you did what you were paid for ?! I hope your answer is “No”.

Finally, YOU SUCK ! Go and shoot yourselves, Loosers !

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